


26 Limericks

by Chthonia



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humor, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-25
Updated: 2008-12-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 07:14:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/859356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chthonia/pseuds/Chthonia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of limericks featuring various students, teachers, Death Eaters and others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	26 Limericks

**Author's Note:**

> These were first posted on [my Livejournal](http://chthonya.livejournal.com/), one a day during Advent 2008.

* * *

  
There was a young wizard named Harry  
Who had quite a burden to carry.  
But when he'd saved the day  
And was ready to play  
His creatrix insisted he marry.  
  


* * *

  
There was a young wizard called Ron  
Who constantly felt put upon  
But he (not his friend)  
Got the girl in the end  
Though sometimes she did rabbit on.  
  


* * *

  
There was a young witch called Hermione  
Whose name I can't rhyme for the life of me.  
I'm sure that _she_ could  
But not that she _would_ :  
Far too silly for busy Hermione.  
  


* * *

  
There once was a wizard called Lucius  
Whose ethics weren't those of Confucius.  
When his plans went awry  
Into fury he'd fly  
And we'd very much hope he'd not see us.  
  


* * *

  
Beedle - a Bard without peer -  
Told stories we're eager to hear.  
But when telling of brothers  
Then Ron, among others,  
Wished Beedle had been far more clear.  
  


* * *

  
There was a young witch named Merope  
Whose life was decidedly ropey.  
So she mixed up a potion  
To induce devotion  
But when it went wrong she went mopey.  
  


* * *

  
The childhood of Sirius Black  
Was such that for nothing he'd lack  
Except maybe love  
So when push came to shove  
He refused to do what was expected.  
  


* * *

  
Wizards who preen and are vain  
Are frankly a bit of a pain  
So no tears did we shed  
When Gilderoy fled  
But was made to go first down the drain.  
  


* * *

  
The acid-green quill of Ms Skeeter  
Tore to shreds all those folk who did meet her.  
But clever Miss Granger  
Contained the danger  
In a glass jar of less than a litre.  
  


* * *

  
Peeves was a naughty has-been:  
He mocked and played pranks and was mean.  
But the students and staff  
Were to have the last laugh:  
In the movies he'll never be seen.  
  


* * *

  
Young Lily thought Snape had good aims  
And she hated to hear him called names.  
Well, we all know their history  
Except for one mystery:  
How the heck did she end up with James?  
  


* * *

  
There was a young man called Tobias  
As rigid as 'puff Zacharias.  
He married a witch  
Though her skills made him twitch:  
Perhaps he'd been raised to be pious?  
  


* * *

  
Dolores, she liked to wear pink  
And use pens that required no ink.  
She taunted her prey  
But when she heard _'Neigh'_  
She'd panic and run to the sink.  
  


* * *

  
The Hogwarts' gamekeeper was hairy  
And liked to breed beasts that were scary.  
He tried for romance  
In Olympe's lacy pants  
But (sensibly so) she was wary.  
  


* * *

  
The Weasley lass with the long hair  
Was, for two books, barely there.  
But to all those who bleat  
At her chest-monster feat:  
It is Jo's word that goes, and so there!  
  


* * *

  
Betrayal amid war and tension  
Is almost beyond comprehension.  
Fearing to linger,  
Pete bit off his finger  
And left his old friend in detention.  
  


* * *

  
Dobby was really annoying  
Especially when sharp pain enjoying.  
He bounced round with glee  
When he was set free  
But he still felt he needed employing.  
  


* * *

  
His friends offered Remus their trust  
(And, according to fanfic, their lust).  
But though he learned magic  
His life was quite tragic  
And to kill him off-page was unjust.  
  


* * *

  
This is my tribute to Luna  
Without whom there'd be a lacuna.  
She thinks there's a plot  
To have all Snorkacks shot  
And to fill their hind legs with baked tuna.  
  


* * *

  
Minerva, she tried to be firm.  
(Or at least, she did during term.)  
Her only wee vice:  
She liked to chase mice,  
Which sometimes made new students squirm.  
  


* * *

  
Bellatrix had a mad cackle  
And a taste for the knife and the shackle.  
She pursued the Dark Lord –  
We don't know if she scored  
Or if a Horcrux had taken his tackle.  
  


* * *

  
There were some who thought Neville a joke,  
Who spoiled every spell that he spoke.  
But his passion was fierce,  
And his epic sword-pierce  
Helped throw off Lord Voldemort's yoke.  
  


* * *

  
Young Tom was a master of lies  
And liked to cause poor orphans' cries.  
When Dumbledore came  
He knew he'd find fame -  
But did he really want weird snakey eyes?  
  


* * *

  
Old Albus had secrets to hide  
In nobody would he confide  
Some fans thought him wily  
But then went all smiley  
When his gay love could not be denied.  
  


* * *

  
Young Draco, he thought himself bad  
Though he couldn't live up to his dad.  
But his fans couldn't care less  
If he ends up hair-less  
So long as he lusts for a lad.  
  


* * *

  
Arthur, he likes to be jolly  
When not nagged at by wobbly wife Molly.  
When time comes for Yule,  
He grins like a fool  
And puts up the tinsel and holly.  
  


* * *

  
Jo's saga of black, grey and white  
Spawned a fandom in which I delight.  
I hope that my wiles  
Have given you smiles  
But for now I will bid you good night.

* * *


End file.
